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Two Deaths, a Moment

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2019

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You were never there.

You were never there,

But different this time.

‘I miss you’ becomes

—you die—

‘I never knew how scared of you I was.’

Longing translates from

Dread. And old veins fall,

Tap thin parody of your consciousness,

Thread-bare scalp, -bare soul,

Flake down, patter like

Graph-paper’s applause.

When nothing happens,

All shining snot, there’s worse goings than gentle.

Act like I never

(It is about me)

Ached for your exile

From care, or wasteport

Jettison from my committed neglect.

Why were you never?

I can’t remember,

Why weren’t you ever?

A zigzag roughness

Tearing against the

—, the —-.

Now always the same.

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